Yes indeed folks, this contest so far has become in need of some more submissions, though the ones I have received so far have been fantastic!
Please! This contest still goes on, and for it to really turn into something great, i need some of the viewers of this blog to submit sections in the style of the Our Tattler column from The Phonoscope.
To get you started, here are a few of the submissions I've gotten so far:
Congratulations Mr. Edison! According to our estimation, you are well on your way to holding the record for starting the highest number of "patent piracy" cases against competition.
We recently heard a story about a boy whose father took him to a phonograph parlor. The child, thinking that the phonograph was some sort of telephone, had a very one sided conversation with Mr. Michael Casey. The boy's mother still does not know where her son heard such things as he has been asking about.
The Columbia studio resembled a pet store last week as Mr. Len Spencer was auditioning cats, dogs, and birds for use in a descriptive scene. One of the birds got loose and "assisted" Mr. AtLee, who happened to be recording in the next room.
Contrary to popular belief, Lambert records cannot actually hold the wait of an elephant, as demonstrated by a recent experiment.
At a Columbia exhibition last week, a dramatic live performance by J. W. Myers of a sentimental song was greeted by George Johnson's laughing through a graphophone from the other side of the room.
After listening to a few Berliner disks, we thought that the Berliner recording machine must be as hand cranked as a gramophone. To the workers of Berliner - if a record starts at a certain speed, should it not stay at that speed throughout its entirety?
After singing at a party, Mr. George Gaskin was approached by a lady who said that he sounded familiar, but didn't look familiar, and she never forgot a face. She couldn't imagine how this was possible.
We recently received a letter from a record dealer in which was asked the question: "Does the inventor of duplicate records deserve credit or blame?"
The Columbia studio had an electrical issue last week that required outside attention. Imagine the surprise of the Edison repairman when he arrived at the Columbia building!
Alcohol is allowed in certain studios - an obvious fact if you've heard a recent take of "In the Baggage Coach Ahead."
(Thanks for these Ryan!)
I have also created a few of these, with funny cartoons to accompany them. These ones above are perfect examples of what is to be expected from this contest, since they all seem like sections we would read when browsing through the Our Tattler and the General News sections of The Phonoscope. Here are the ones that I have done so far:
One of our correspondents recently heard the following conversation at the Columbia parlor:
-What makes you such a heavyweight sir?
--Sittin' in a broken chair fer ten dollars a week.
-Why's it broken?
--Cause I werk here.
Here's the cartoon that goes along with the one above:
We've found Mr. Len Spencer's watch thief! Last month, Mr. Spencer went all around searching for his stolen watch, and found it at the bottom of the crate where the electric fans are kept, coming to find afterward that Georgie Emerson mistook it for his brother's studio timepiece. Len later had to repair the watch, since it appeared to have been stepped on while missing.
The Columbia company's pianist, Mr. Hylands, was awfully sick last week from eating some rotten duck, and vows he'll never return to the restaurant that prepared the rotten quacker. He stated to the side that the drinks the place prepared made up for the ailment, despite little recollection of it.
Edward Issler returned to the Columbia rooms last month, to repair the old piano he played in the good old days of five hundred rounds. One he approached the piano, opened his case of tools, his surprise was clear, with a loud crack of his wrenches on the bolts, and a whoop in shock,
-What have you done to this thing?
--Played it, that's all.
Russell Hunting visited Mr. Roger Harding's Parlor last week, and when he found little Harding at the counter, a ragged old dark man approached them before conversation could ensue:
-You er Willie Fathand ern't yo?
--I was. Now I'm Russell Hunting.
One of Berliner's new young employes dropped a crate full of masters recently and all the talent are being told they have to record all of the takes again, most of them are more than one.
The new Zon-O-phone company has taken in Frederick Hager as their new music director, he has proved to be an established attraction at exhibitions and record demonstrations, particularly to the youthful girls.
One of our popular correspondents was out for drink last month, and while sitting at the counter, ignorantly getting lost in thought, heard the racket of a familiar gang enter the saloon. He looked to his side and spotted Columbia's clan of Messrs. Spencer, Harding, Porter, Gaskin and Hylands. Imagine their surprise when they spotted the familiar face of the correspondent. At the studio door next day, Mr. Spencer could not recall who it was they saw at the saloon, neither could Messrs. Hylands and Gaskin.
George Watson's wife, Marguerite entered the studio last month, causing all sorts of racket between takes, and attempting to sing along with her hubby during the session, further making George distracted while he yodeled. --She was an awful nuisance, so much so I couldn't fer the life a' me recognize her face. Thought she was horse in a dress, since my 'spects have been broke fer a few weeks. Thought I was hallucinating fer sure. Hope he don't bring her along again, though she's a pleasant singer.--Stated Mr. Hylands after the day.
Mr. At Lee continues to be a strange curiosity at the phonograph parlors, a woman and her babe approached Mr. At Lee and stated(the woman) that she recalled him from back in the late-80's at a Messrs. Bell and Tainter exhibition, Mr. At Lee could not well focus on what the woman was saying because he was shooing away the babe's ever-curious hand from his whiskers.
Anyway, hope all of these examples are enough to get some of your started! Once again, PLEASE send in some of these mock sections, they are so much fun to read and to write as well, a wider variety of sections would really be appreciated. This still has great potential!
The Columbia company's pianist, Mr. Hylands, was awfully sick last week from eating some rotten duck, and vows he'll never return to the restaurant that prepared the rotten quacker. He stated to the side that the drinks the place prepared made up for the ailment, despite little recollection of it.
Edward Issler returned to the Columbia rooms last month, to repair the old piano he played in the good old days of five hundred rounds. One he approached the piano, opened his case of tools, his surprise was clear, with a loud crack of his wrenches on the bolts, and a whoop in shock,
-What have you done to this thing?
--Played it, that's all.
Russell Hunting visited Mr. Roger Harding's Parlor last week, and when he found little Harding at the counter, a ragged old dark man approached them before conversation could ensue:
-You er Willie Fathand ern't yo?
--I was. Now I'm Russell Hunting.
One of Berliner's new young employes dropped a crate full of masters recently and all the talent are being told they have to record all of the takes again, most of them are more than one.
The new Zon-O-phone company has taken in Frederick Hager as their new music director, he has proved to be an established attraction at exhibitions and record demonstrations, particularly to the youthful girls.
One of our popular correspondents was out for drink last month, and while sitting at the counter, ignorantly getting lost in thought, heard the racket of a familiar gang enter the saloon. He looked to his side and spotted Columbia's clan of Messrs. Spencer, Harding, Porter, Gaskin and Hylands. Imagine their surprise when they spotted the familiar face of the correspondent. At the studio door next day, Mr. Spencer could not recall who it was they saw at the saloon, neither could Messrs. Hylands and Gaskin.
George Watson's wife, Marguerite entered the studio last month, causing all sorts of racket between takes, and attempting to sing along with her hubby during the session, further making George distracted while he yodeled. --She was an awful nuisance, so much so I couldn't fer the life a' me recognize her face. Thought she was horse in a dress, since my 'spects have been broke fer a few weeks. Thought I was hallucinating fer sure. Hope he don't bring her along again, though she's a pleasant singer.--Stated Mr. Hylands after the day.
Mr. At Lee continues to be a strange curiosity at the phonograph parlors, a woman and her babe approached Mr. At Lee and stated(the woman) that she recalled him from back in the late-80's at a Messrs. Bell and Tainter exhibition, Mr. At Lee could not well focus on what the woman was saying because he was shooing away the babe's ever-curious hand from his whiskers.
Anyway, hope all of these examples are enough to get some of your started! Once again, PLEASE send in some of these mock sections, they are so much fun to read and to write as well, a wider variety of sections would really be appreciated. This still has great potential!
Hope you enjoyed this! Make some time to submit some sections for the contest by commenting on any of the two posts on this matter!
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